Company Memo (#2) FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources DirectorTO: All EmployeesDATE: October 2, 2008
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.Happy now?Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Company Memo (#3)FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources DirectorTO: All EmployeesDATE: October 3, 2008RE:
Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Company Memo (#4) FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources DirectorTo: All EmployeesDATE: October 4, 2008RE: Generic Holiday Party
The B*tch from H*LL!!!
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Now for my Memo: I am with Patty on this one however I am much stronger then she is! In that, I won’t need rehab! I say the hell with everyone else’s culture or issues and we will celebrate like it or not! If not stay the hell home with your, asses to Mecca or lighting your candles… WHAT THE HELL EVER IT IS YOU DO! Don’t come and ruin my party!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! DAMN IT!!! SO THERE IN YOUR FACE!
This message was approved by dcat!